Doctor Who and the Feline Dilemma
by Gemini14
Summary: Once again the cosmos is threatened by an unknown enemy. Only the Doctor can solve this problem. But what's this? The Doctor's been changed into a what?! Read and find out!
1. Chapter One

Doctor Who and the Feline Dilemma

Chapter One

Romana sighed as she and K-9 played a game of chess.

"Your move, Mistress." K-9 said. With a thoughtful nod, Romana moved one of her pawns.

"Good move, Mistress." K-9 commented.

"Thank you, K-9. I wonder what the Doctor is up to." Romana said, as she glanced around at the otherwise empty control room.

"Master had said something about cleaning his closet out." K-9 said, before a resounding crash came from the room adjacent. Romana rolled her eyes and went to the source of the noise, not in the least bit surprised when she came upon a huge pile of junk.

"Doctor, are you all right?" Romana asked, dryly. 

"Oh, I'm just as right as rain, Romana." Came the muffled, somewhat sarcastic reply of the Doctor.

"Hold on, I'll get you out." Romana said, choosing to ignore the snappish remark. With that said, she started removing the junk from on top of the Time Lord. Yet, as she got deeper, Romana noticed that something wasn't right.

"K-9, can you sense the Doctor's normal body mass?" Romana asked. K-9 paused for a moment, his antennae twitching. 

"Negative, Mistress." K-9 replied, after a few moments.

"Nonsense, K-9! That can't be right!" the Doctor again said, this time his voice was clearer than it had been.

"Negative, Master. According to my sensors, your body is now the same size and proportions as an animal the earth people call a 'bobcat'. Your life readings also indicate that, although you retain Gallifreyan traits, your body is now quite feline." K-9 said, matter-of-factly. In the next instant, K-9's prognosis proved true, as a frustrated, bobcat-sized male calico pulled himself from under the debris and gave K-9 a scathing glare. Romana gaped at what she saw; even though it was a cat, it was wearing bobcat-sized versions of the Doctor's clothes and had a head of curly brown hair.

"Doctor, K-9 is right. You have been changed into a cat." Romana said, and, before he could argue, put a mirror before the Doctor. She watched as shock etched itself across the Doctor's usually smiling, now feline, face.

"This is even worse than post-regeneration trauma. How could this have happened?" the Doctor asked, as he put a paw to the glass and lowered his head.

"I don't know, but I think the answer to that question lies on our home planet." Romana said, as she led the now depressed Doctor to the control room, with K-9 following close behind them.

Meanwhile………..

The Doctor was in a predicament. He'd thought that he was short before, but now he couldn't even reach the control console for the TARDIS! Luckily for him, though, Jamie was still in bed asleep. At least, until he heard a yell and a slight 'thud' in his room.

"Jamie? Are you all right?" the Doctor asked.

"Aye, but it appears that I've gone furry!" Jamie replied, as he came out of his room.

"Oh no, not you too!" the Doctor muttered, when he caught sight of his companion. What had once been a proud young Scotsman was now a kilt-wearing, slightly disgruntled, blue-gray cat.

"What happened, Doctor? And how do we get back to normal?" Jamie asked, almost sounding panicky.

"Calm down, Jamie. I think the answer to this lies on Gallifrey." The Doctor said, as he trotted over to the console, jumped onto it, and took a look at the coordinates. 

"For once I am glad the High Council is controlling the TARDIS, since I don't think these paws could work the controls." The Doctor said, with bitter irony in his voice.

"Where're we goin' then?" Jamie asked.

"Gallifrey." The Doctor replied, gravely.

Another time…………..

Jo Grant cringed when she heard a crash come from the Doctor's room.

"Doctor!" Jo yelped, as she rushed in to see what had happened.

"Watch it, Jo!" the Doctor's voice yelped, from underfoot. Surprised, Jo looked down to see a slightly disheveled, bobcat-sized white Persian cat. The strange thing about it was the fact that it had a head of wavy white hair on its head and smaller versions of the Doctor's flamboyant clothes on its body!

"Doctor, is that you?! What happened?" Jo asked, in complete disbelief. 

"I haven't the faintest idea." The Doctor replied, testily. For a few moments there was uncomfortable silence, then Jo started giggling.

"What's so funny?" the Doctor asked, irritably.

"It's so funny, Doctor. You're so cute!" Jo said, from between giggles. This got what anime watchers everywhere termed 'the infamous anime face-fault' from the Doctor.

"Jo……………this is NOT the time for this…….." the Doctor grumbled, angrily, his tail lashing furiously behind him as he said that. With that said, he stalked past Jo and into the control room. When he got there, he could already tell that the TARDIS was headed for Gallifrey. When the TARDIS had signaled that it had landed, the Doctor had Jo open the door and he cautiously poked his head out to see what was out there. To his shock, two other police boxes stood on either side of his!

"Are they TARDISes too?" Jo asked, her voice a whisper.

"More than likely they are the same TARDIS. Come along, Jo." The Doctor ordered, as he walked over to one of the other TARDISes and knocked (well, about as well as a cat could knock, anyway). Almost immediately, the door opened to reveal……….

"YOU?!" the two Doctors yelped, then glared at one another.

"Who's that, Doctor?" Jamie asked, as he gave Doctor 3 and Jo a questioning look.

"Me." Doctor 2 replied, then added, "You're still a fancypants." 

"And you're still a scarecrow." Doctor 3 retorted. As the two Doctors argued, the third TARDIS' door opened, and Romana and the fourth Doctor stepped out.

"Excuse me, but I think catfights are only supposed to happen between women." Romana said, dryly. Both Doctors looked at her, then Doctor 4.

"Oh no, don't tell me you're my replacement! I am preceded by a clown and succeeded by another one!" Doctor 3 ranted. He got an icy stare from Doctor 4 and a flying raspberry from Doctor 2.

"Stop being so childish, you three!" Romana said, forcefully.

"I am not being childish! Besides, they started it!" Doctor 4 said, angrily. Romana, Doctor 3 and Jo merely rolled their eyes and shook their heads.

"So, you're Fancypants' replacement, eh?" Doctor 2 asked, with an impish grin. Doctor 4 nodded.

"Yes. Pleasure to meet me." Doctor 4 said, forgetting his prior depression and returning to being himself.

"Here we go again." Jo muttered, with a sigh, as she watched Doctors 2 and 4 get along and Doctor 3 sulk about it. 

Author's Note!

Okay, I know there might be some people who will flame me, but here me out! This fic was started just for the fun of it! For those who enjoy humor fics, well, if you have any ideas as to where this story could go, then please e-mail me!

Gemini ^ ^;;;


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

"So what do we do now, Doctors?" Jamie asked, sounding as though he were at wits end.

"Find out what's going on." Doctor 3 replied.

"And put a stop to it." Doctor 4 added, much to Doctor 3's chagrin. 

"I was just getting to that." Doctor 3 said, testily. Doctor 4 merely grinned, knowing that he was going to enjoy getting on his previous incarnation's nerves. 

"Get along, you two. Don't make me separate you." Romana warned.

"Wouldn't dream of arguing, Romana." Doctor 4 said, cheerfully.

"Of course you wouldn't." Doctor 3 muttered, as they then started discussing the situation at hand. 

"What confounds me is, why haven't Jo and Romana been affected? It is plain to see that Jamie has also been changed." Doctor 3 said, as he glanced at the nervously pacing gray cat.

"Yes. But why would someone do this?" Doctor 2 asked.

"Maybe the person in question is a cat lover." Doctor 4 suggested, with a shrug. Before anything else could be said, however, the sound of yet another TARDIS filled the air.

"Who could this be, I wonder?" Doctor 2 asked, as the TARDIS in question materialized in front of them.

"Another police box?" Jo asked, as they all watched the door open and a garishly clothed ragdoll cat stepped out, obviously nonplused about his appearance.

"Oh no, you too?" Doctor 2 asked, when the stranger had approached.

"What do you think? You're the earliest incarnation here, so naturally the rest of us would be affected." The ragdoll cat said, peevishly.

"Which incarnation are you?" Jo asked, out of curiosity.

"Fifth regeneration, sixth Doctor." The stranger in the multi-colored coat said, with some pride in his voice.

"And he's me? I hope he didn't chop up my scarf to make that coat." Doctor 4 muttered.

"Might as well start a circus. Got three clowns already." Doctor 3 sulked.

"Clowns?! You think I'm a clown?!? How dare you!" Doctor 6 shouted, ready to give the third Doctor a piece of his mind. 

"What's going on out here?" the sixth Doctor's companion, Peri, asked, as she joined Jo and Romana.

"The first male cat-fight." Romana replied, dryly, as the four Doctors gave her, then one another, a dirty look. 

"If you all are finished chatting, let's get on with finding a solution to this mess." Another voice said, as it's owner slinked out of the shadows. Doctor 3's ears immediately pinned themselves back and a look of distrust came into his eyes.

"So, it's you." Doctor 3 said, barely maintaining a civil tone.

"Good to see you too, Doctor. Doctors." The newcomer said, nodding with false politeness to the others, with a sly smile.

"Who are you? And how do ye know the Doctor?" Jamie asked, already suspicious of the shifty looking black cat that now stood in their midst.

"This, Jamie, is the Master. My old enemy." Doctor 3 said, as the renegade Time Lord smiled in satisfaction. 

"And it has been fun battling you across the cosmos, Doctor. But now we are faced with a common threat, as you can see. And soon this threat will spread until every male of every alien species is……………how shall I say it………….made feline?" the Master said, almost casually. 

"You mean that even the earth will be affected?" Jo asked, shocked.

"My dear girl, the whole universe will be affected. Even your precious earth will feel the effects, even into its past." The Master replied, as Jamie's face took on a look of disbelief and horror. 

"We've got to do something! We can simply let the earth end up like this!" Jamie said, as he looked at himself with disgust.

"Don't worry, Jamie. We'll find a way out of this. Now, tell us everything you know." Doctor 6 said, as he came and sat down in front of the Master, and as his previous incarnations did the same. The Master took a deep breath, then began explaining what had occurred to make them like this. 


End file.
